Republican Legislators: Hey, Minnesota. What's new?
Minnesota: Oh, you know. Just plugging along. What's new with you?
RL: Actually, a lot. We've got some ideas for you.
MN: Oh, yeah? Like what?
RL: We were thinking, what if we added an amendment to our constitution that says marriage can only be between a man and a woman?
MN: Um...isn't that kind of discriminatory? And permanent?
RL: I mean, only if you like the gays...you don't, do you?
MN: Uh...yeah, kind of. I mean, they're just like everyone else. Why shouldn't they get married?
RL: It's already illegal, if that helps you.
MN: Uh...then why are we putting this in our constitution?
RL: To make it even MORE illegal.
MN: Um, no, I don't think we'll do that.
RL: Are you sure?
MN: Yes.
RL: How sure?
MN: Positive.
RL: *Sigh* Fine. OK, well, how about an amendment saying that everyone needs to present a government-issued photo ID when they vote?
MN: Wait, what? What kinds of IDs? Why?
RL: Government-issued IDs. Passports, driver's licenses, those kinds of things. Things with your picture and current address on them.
MN: What about student IDs? And passports don't have your address on it. What about military IDs?
RL: Meh, I don't know. We'll figure it out later.
MN: Um, I don't know about this. Wouldn't that keep people from voting.
RL: Well, sure. But only students, minorities, people who move a lot, the elderly--
MN:--wait, wait. That's a pretty long list.
RL: Well, sure. But don't worry. Most of those people vote for liberals.
MN: (uncomfortable silence)
RL: Seriously, don't worry. We'll figure it out. We'll...we'll give people IDs or something.
MN: Won't that be pretty complicated and expensive?
RL: I don't know. Maybe. But it will be worth it to prevent voter fraud.
MN: Do we have a big problem with voter fraud?
RL: No. But we could.
MN: But we don't.
RL: No, you're not listening. We COULD.
MN: ...but we don't.
RL: Well...right.
MN: Yeah, I think we're going to pass on that, too.
RL: You're making a huuuge mistake.
MN: I don't think so. And while we're at it, I think we need to see other people.
