So, for a while, I was doing some SEO (Search Engine Optimization) writing on a very part-time basis. It was basically just re-writing articles for a company that would be published somewhere and would increase the likelihood that their site would come up first if someone would type certain search terms into Google. I actually don't understand exactly how it works, to be honest. I ended up just having a good time writing and getting paid for it for the first time ever, even though it wasn't all that creative. I used some of the money to buy things on Ebay and now have a ton of cheap, jade jewelery in all colors. Totally worth it.
In any case, I was thinking, how can I get people to read my blog without sending out a desperate plea on Facebook to my friends and family? It's kind of sad to ask people to read your blog (unless you're doing something really interesting like studying abroad or doing a stint in the Peace Corps, which I am not), but it's another thing altogether if someone just searches for something on the Internet and stumbles upon your blog.
I have this idea that if I start writing about controversial news stories in my blog, maybe it will come up when people search for information. This idea really took shape when, a few months ago, Chris was telling me that Piers Morgan was really the father of Prince Harry. I was stunned and immediately searched the Internet for more information. It turns out that, no, Piers Morgan is not rumored to be his father, but that someone named James Hewitt is. I was thinking, what if I wrote 'Piers Morgan is Prince Harry's real father' in my blog? Would someone else Google that and come across my blog? And through the magic of my SEO writing experience, I have managed to pepper those terms into this very paragraph three times. Sneaky, right? We'll see if that works!
The idea took shape further when Chris read a post I wrote last week that mentioned Michele Bachmann's husband running a clinic, which reportedly tries to counsel people out of being gay. He said, "Wow, I wonder if your blog will get any more readers because you wrote about Michele Bachmann and her anti-gay husband." Now, I'm not an expert on how the Internet works, but I would think that I would have to do more than make just a passing reference to Michele Bachmann's husband running an anti-gay therapy office in order for my little blog to show up in a Google search. But maybe it will work. Let's see!
I am going to judge my SEO success based on how many times this blog is viewed in the next week, and if I can find my blog by typing "Piers Morgan real father of Prince Harry" or "Michele Bachmann's husband runs anti-gay clinic" into Google. I think my readership usually averages out to about 10 per week, which amazes me to no end. Ten times a week, someone clicks over to this blog, thinking, "Hey, I'm going to see what that girl wrote, if anything." And I'm that girl! Incredible! I'll keep you posted about any success I notice.
Hope you're having a good day.
xo
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Woman and the Womb
It's my mom's birthday today! Happy birthday, Woman Who Gave Me Life!
My mom is pretty great. She's a runner (yes, you are), a Nordic-pole walker (and defender of the "sport" at family reunions), and the last time I heard, she was doing P90-X. I think she could definitely beat me up. But she wouldn't do that. She's too nice.
My mom is just drooling for the moment she can hold her first grandchild, and I can't wait to give her that chance. She was (is) a fantastic mother, and I can't wait to have her be little Sophie's grandma. I know that any success I have as a mother will be due in large part to her excellence as my mom.
Speaking of being a good mother, something I've been thinking about more and more is what to do after Sophie is born. I mean, not what to do on a daily basis or anything, although the thought of that is a little daunting at the moment. I'm talking about what to do for work.
From my past posts, you may have gathered that I have a sort of love-hate relationship with my current employment. On the one hand, I have great hours, good benefits, a relatively calm work environment, and am paid fairly for what I do.
On the other, my work day is riddled with pointless meetings, overly-explanatory emails, an excess of donuts, and long stretches of time that goes unused because there is too much bureaucracy involved in anything I do to allow me to be truly productive. It is not work that I feel a passion for, in short, but I know I am lucky to have it.
I've recently thought, "Self, why don't you try to write for money?" My mom suggested it, too, and Chris has brought it up as a realistic possibility, so I know it's not a purely crazy thought (because nothing is more valid than the support of two people who love you unconditionally...right?). It's just something that has been on my mind. And in fact, I've recently applied for a contract as a culture blogger for Slate.com, which would be an absolute dream in any life scenario, baby or no baby. If I could find a way to stay home and write, it would be killing two birds with one word processor. But realistically...what if I can't?
Meh, things have a way of working themselves out. I'm not losing sleep about it. I'm too busy losing sleep to back pain and thrice-nightly bathroom trips.
Hope you're well!
xo
My mom is pretty great. She's a runner (yes, you are), a Nordic-pole walker (and defender of the "sport" at family reunions), and the last time I heard, she was doing P90-X. I think she could definitely beat me up. But she wouldn't do that. She's too nice.
My mom is just drooling for the moment she can hold her first grandchild, and I can't wait to give her that chance. She was (is) a fantastic mother, and I can't wait to have her be little Sophie's grandma. I know that any success I have as a mother will be due in large part to her excellence as my mom.
Speaking of being a good mother, something I've been thinking about more and more is what to do after Sophie is born. I mean, not what to do on a daily basis or anything, although the thought of that is a little daunting at the moment. I'm talking about what to do for work.
From my past posts, you may have gathered that I have a sort of love-hate relationship with my current employment. On the one hand, I have great hours, good benefits, a relatively calm work environment, and am paid fairly for what I do.
On the other, my work day is riddled with pointless meetings, overly-explanatory emails, an excess of donuts, and long stretches of time that goes unused because there is too much bureaucracy involved in anything I do to allow me to be truly productive. It is not work that I feel a passion for, in short, but I know I am lucky to have it.
I've recently thought, "Self, why don't you try to write for money?" My mom suggested it, too, and Chris has brought it up as a realistic possibility, so I know it's not a purely crazy thought (because nothing is more valid than the support of two people who love you unconditionally...right?). It's just something that has been on my mind. And in fact, I've recently applied for a contract as a culture blogger for Slate.com, which would be an absolute dream in any life scenario, baby or no baby. If I could find a way to stay home and write, it would be killing two birds with one word processor. But realistically...what if I can't?
Meh, things have a way of working themselves out. I'm not losing sleep about it. I'm too busy losing sleep to back pain and thrice-nightly bathroom trips.
Hope you're well!
xo
Monday, August 1, 2011
Blog a Day
Chris likes to read my blog. He laughs a lot when he reads it, which is sort of strange because he doesn't often laugh at me in real life unless I'm doing something clumsy. I asked him about this, and he said, "I think you're funny. I just sometimes don't laugh because I don't want to give you the satisfaction." And then he hung his head in mock-shame.
Anyway, he thinks I need to write more. I told him I'd thought of trying to do a blog a day for a week to see how it goes, but that I didn't really think I had enough to write about that would be funny, or at least somewhat pleasant to read. He suggested (really helpfully) that I just 'write whatever is on my mind'. I referred him back to a conversation we'd had a while ago in the car...
After we'd been silent for the span of 5 or so miles, he commented that I was quiet. I had been deep in thought and said, "I was just thinking about the baby, and how having a baby is kind of like our major contribution to the world. When you have a child, you're sort of accepting the fact that you'll die someday, but that it's OK because you've left a piece of you behind. It's a natural step in a person's life and something that I think all humans kind of strive for. There was a psychologist named Erik Erikson who had a theory that people start going through these stages of development starting at birth, and almost all of the stages have something to do with striving for independence and being productive at every level of our lives. Having a baby right now is maybe our greatest possible level of productivity at this stage of our lives. It's kind of like accepting that we're like a dying layer of skin, ready to be sloughed off, but it's OK because there's a new layer, and there will still be a part of us left behind when we go."
When I looked over at him, he had a look of shock and annoyance on his face.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"That's terrible!" he said.
"It is?" I asked. "I don't think it's sad. I think it's hopeful. You think that's sad?"
"Yes!" he replied.
We were quiet for a little while.
"Well," I said, "what were you thinking about?"
"Definitely not that."
I reminded him about that conversation and said that maybe just writing what I am thinking for a week wouldn't work out that well. He said I should maybe just write about that conversation.
And there you have it.
xo
Anyway, he thinks I need to write more. I told him I'd thought of trying to do a blog a day for a week to see how it goes, but that I didn't really think I had enough to write about that would be funny, or at least somewhat pleasant to read. He suggested (really helpfully) that I just 'write whatever is on my mind'. I referred him back to a conversation we'd had a while ago in the car...
After we'd been silent for the span of 5 or so miles, he commented that I was quiet. I had been deep in thought and said, "I was just thinking about the baby, and how having a baby is kind of like our major contribution to the world. When you have a child, you're sort of accepting the fact that you'll die someday, but that it's OK because you've left a piece of you behind. It's a natural step in a person's life and something that I think all humans kind of strive for. There was a psychologist named Erik Erikson who had a theory that people start going through these stages of development starting at birth, and almost all of the stages have something to do with striving for independence and being productive at every level of our lives. Having a baby right now is maybe our greatest possible level of productivity at this stage of our lives. It's kind of like accepting that we're like a dying layer of skin, ready to be sloughed off, but it's OK because there's a new layer, and there will still be a part of us left behind when we go."
When I looked over at him, he had a look of shock and annoyance on his face.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"That's terrible!" he said.
"It is?" I asked. "I don't think it's sad. I think it's hopeful. You think that's sad?"
"Yes!" he replied.
We were quiet for a little while.
"Well," I said, "what were you thinking about?"
"Definitely not that."
I reminded him about that conversation and said that maybe just writing what I am thinking for a week wouldn't work out that well. He said I should maybe just write about that conversation.
And there you have it.
xo
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Spaghetti Squash
First, I am quickly going to say that I want to have a t-shirt made with the following on it:
1. 22 weeks
2. I feel great, thank you!
3. A girl.
4. Sophie.
5. Yes, I can feel her kick.
6. Yes, very excited.
That would save everyone some time! But yes, everything is going well, pregnancy-wise, and I'm really happy and grateful for that.
This week sort of flew by for me. I ended up being sick on Wednesday and sent myself home after only an hour in the office. An hour, by the way, is the maximum amount of time one can spend dry-heaving in a cubicle according to legal clause 634.1, subsection 432.23 of the 'Mandatory Sick Day' law in the state of Minnesota. (No, that is not a real law.)
Chris, on the other hand, has been working like crazy on some start-up in Northfield. Either that, or he's starting a second life with another family somewhere else. In any case, he's been leaving the house at 5AM and returning around 8PM for the last week, including today (Saturday). It's just gross and I feel pretty bad for him.
It continues to be hot here in Minnesota. And let me be clear--I understand that my 'delicate condition' makes me more susceptible to the heat, but still. It's very hot. Sticky hot. The kind of hot that makes you stick to car seats and restaurant booths. Just gross.
So, to sum it up...hot, sick day, baby's good. Hope you're well.
xoxo
1. 22 weeks
2. I feel great, thank you!
3. A girl.
4. Sophie.
5. Yes, I can feel her kick.
6. Yes, very excited.
That would save everyone some time! But yes, everything is going well, pregnancy-wise, and I'm really happy and grateful for that.
This week sort of flew by for me. I ended up being sick on Wednesday and sent myself home after only an hour in the office. An hour, by the way, is the maximum amount of time one can spend dry-heaving in a cubicle according to legal clause 634.1, subsection 432.23 of the 'Mandatory Sick Day' law in the state of Minnesota. (No, that is not a real law.)
Chris, on the other hand, has been working like crazy on some start-up in Northfield. Either that, or he's starting a second life with another family somewhere else. In any case, he's been leaving the house at 5AM and returning around 8PM for the last week, including today (Saturday). It's just gross and I feel pretty bad for him.
It continues to be hot here in Minnesota. And let me be clear--I understand that my 'delicate condition' makes me more susceptible to the heat, but still. It's very hot. Sticky hot. The kind of hot that makes you stick to car seats and restaurant booths. Just gross.
So, to sum it up...hot, sick day, baby's good. Hope you're well.
xoxo
Monday, July 18, 2011
Banana
I've decided to do a Top Ten list in honor of the fact that the baby is a massive 10 inches this week! So, here are the top ten things going on here:
10. Yesterday, I held a baby and he didn't cry. In fact, he nestled his little baby face against my neck and gummed my inner arm. This is significant to me because the last two babies I had held had cried, and I was starting to get a complex.
9. It's really hot. We all know that. But today, Chris saw on the news that we were HOTTER THAN SAUDI ARABIA (and more humid) yesterday. We pulled out the futon and slept in the living room under the air conditioner last night. It's pavement-buckling, 'check on your elderly neighbor' hot. It's just...it's just a real bitch. There's nothing more to be said about it.
8. We got a new car! It's a Corolla--yes, another one. My friend Mike checked it out and said it was a great deal. This is the same friend who warned me not to buy the Volvo a couple of years ago, and I definitely should have listened to him back then. My hopes for this car are high.
7. Our pet rat, Alfred, died a couple of weeks ago. He was sick near the end, but we think he had a good life. We bought a little stuffed walrus for Winston to snuggle with. I think he's a little depressed, as he will bite any kind hand that enters his cage.
6. We've been told at work that any inquiries about Bachmann and Associates, the clinic run by Michele Bachmann's husband, should be redirected to the Fairview Media Relations department. Apparently, the clinic is in our network, and we have referred people there in the past. Can I just say that the fact that Michele Bachmann is doing well in the polls seems to be an indication that all hell has broken loose in America, politically? How can we, as people, without bringing right or left-wing politics into things, believe that this person is qualified to make decisions that impact us all? She has done very little, politically, and she's just so judgmental. I want to shake her and say, 'You know, you'd be representing EVERYONE, not just your friends. Same to you, Sarah Palin.'
5. The other night, Chris and I went to a friend's brother's engagement party. When we arrived, it turned out that we'd fallen into the laps of some of nicest people, and that they were all very left-leaning. We discussed politics and ideas and philosophies about society's responsibility to help people who are disadvantaged, and it was just generally nice. The thing about this that was the most shocking is that these people are my parents' age or older. It was the first time I've had a conversation about politics with what I'll call 'real adults' (you know, ones who have worked, paid taxes, raised children and retired) where I didn't feel as though my ideas were silly, or didn't count because I'm 'young' (even though, I'd like to remind them that I'm almost 30). Chris and I were so taken aback and so giddy and didn't want to leave. My family tends to the right, as do Chris's coworkers, so we each spend a fair amount of time feeling frustrated at being discounted when it comes to our political ideas. Chris especially loves when people ask him, 'Come on, you can't possibly believe people should have universal health care, can you?', because he is, of course, from a country with universal health care, and it works out just fine.
4. Harry Potter is over. Chris and I saw the last movie on Friday with some friends. I remember reluctantly agreeing to read the first book, and then quickly realizing I was stupid to hesitate. Those books will be read forever, I'm sure. I'm already looking forward to the day that I can start reading them to my kids.
3. Work is...it's just work. I've started working 4, 10-hour days and taking off every Thursday. It's glorious. Recently, management thought that something major had gone wrong, didn't do much research into it, apparently, and then made us underlings spend about 30 hours fixing it. My part of the Big Fix involved driving down to one of the hospitals to sit in their medical records department and file things...twice. After the fact, we realized that nothing had actually gone wrong, and they had just panicked and deployed an unnecessary Big Fix. Yeah, welcome to my Cubicle of Hell. Pull up an ergonomic chair and prepare for some mental carpal tunnel syndrome.
2. My appetite has become like a truck driver's. My belly has also become that of a truck driver's.
1. I'm starting to feel the baby kick! The other night, I was having a tough time finding a comfortable sleeping position, so I rolled onto my stomach. Within ten seconds, the baby started to kick me in an annoyed way. Apparently, she is already assertive. I loved it!
Hope you're all doing well.
xo
10. Yesterday, I held a baby and he didn't cry. In fact, he nestled his little baby face against my neck and gummed my inner arm. This is significant to me because the last two babies I had held had cried, and I was starting to get a complex.
9. It's really hot. We all know that. But today, Chris saw on the news that we were HOTTER THAN SAUDI ARABIA (and more humid) yesterday. We pulled out the futon and slept in the living room under the air conditioner last night. It's pavement-buckling, 'check on your elderly neighbor' hot. It's just...it's just a real bitch. There's nothing more to be said about it.
8. We got a new car! It's a Corolla--yes, another one. My friend Mike checked it out and said it was a great deal. This is the same friend who warned me not to buy the Volvo a couple of years ago, and I definitely should have listened to him back then. My hopes for this car are high.
7. Our pet rat, Alfred, died a couple of weeks ago. He was sick near the end, but we think he had a good life. We bought a little stuffed walrus for Winston to snuggle with. I think he's a little depressed, as he will bite any kind hand that enters his cage.
6. We've been told at work that any inquiries about Bachmann and Associates, the clinic run by Michele Bachmann's husband, should be redirected to the Fairview Media Relations department. Apparently, the clinic is in our network, and we have referred people there in the past. Can I just say that the fact that Michele Bachmann is doing well in the polls seems to be an indication that all hell has broken loose in America, politically? How can we, as people, without bringing right or left-wing politics into things, believe that this person is qualified to make decisions that impact us all? She has done very little, politically, and she's just so judgmental. I want to shake her and say, 'You know, you'd be representing EVERYONE, not just your friends. Same to you, Sarah Palin.'
5. The other night, Chris and I went to a friend's brother's engagement party. When we arrived, it turned out that we'd fallen into the laps of some of nicest people, and that they were all very left-leaning. We discussed politics and ideas and philosophies about society's responsibility to help people who are disadvantaged, and it was just generally nice. The thing about this that was the most shocking is that these people are my parents' age or older. It was the first time I've had a conversation about politics with what I'll call 'real adults' (you know, ones who have worked, paid taxes, raised children and retired) where I didn't feel as though my ideas were silly, or didn't count because I'm 'young' (even though, I'd like to remind them that I'm almost 30). Chris and I were so taken aback and so giddy and didn't want to leave. My family tends to the right, as do Chris's coworkers, so we each spend a fair amount of time feeling frustrated at being discounted when it comes to our political ideas. Chris especially loves when people ask him, 'Come on, you can't possibly believe people should have universal health care, can you?', because he is, of course, from a country with universal health care, and it works out just fine.
4. Harry Potter is over. Chris and I saw the last movie on Friday with some friends. I remember reluctantly agreeing to read the first book, and then quickly realizing I was stupid to hesitate. Those books will be read forever, I'm sure. I'm already looking forward to the day that I can start reading them to my kids.
3. Work is...it's just work. I've started working 4, 10-hour days and taking off every Thursday. It's glorious. Recently, management thought that something major had gone wrong, didn't do much research into it, apparently, and then made us underlings spend about 30 hours fixing it. My part of the Big Fix involved driving down to one of the hospitals to sit in their medical records department and file things...twice. After the fact, we realized that nothing had actually gone wrong, and they had just panicked and deployed an unnecessary Big Fix. Yeah, welcome to my Cubicle of Hell. Pull up an ergonomic chair and prepare for some mental carpal tunnel syndrome.
2. My appetite has become like a truck driver's. My belly has also become that of a truck driver's.
1. I'm starting to feel the baby kick! The other night, I was having a tough time finding a comfortable sleeping position, so I rolled onto my stomach. Within ten seconds, the baby started to kick me in an annoyed way. Apparently, she is already assertive. I loved it!
Hope you're all doing well.
xo
Friday, July 8, 2011
Double X
We found out yesterday at our ultrasound that this little tomato-sized baby inside me is actually a girl! I watched her kick my bladder and generally ignore the ultrasound tech's pleas to 'flip over!' and was reminded that someday, this kid will be a teenager. That's right, I'm going to have a daughter.
It's really tough to think beyond this time, to be honest. I'm not scared of her becoming a sassy teenager. Right now, I'm focused on making sure she's healthy and strong enough to come out into the world. She looks very good--strong, active, and, dare I say it, cute. OK, she's actually a little skeletal-looking now, at least from the top view, but she's got one heck of a cute profile, and cute little hands and feet.
Anyway, blah blah blah, pregnancy. Let's not overdo it here. I have other things going on too. And while the Black Keys concert wasn't quite as miraculous as the creation of life within my body, it was a close second. The show was great--I've been listening to the Keys for a few years, but this is the first chance I've had to see them live. For only being made up of two guys, they made a lot of noise. Great noise.
There was one thing that bugged me at the show, though. A few rows ahead of me, there was some mouth-breather checking his Facebook. Now, I thought maybe he was going to post a picture of the show or something, but he didn't. He was just scrolling through his friends' profiles! There was an awesome band putting on a rocking show, and this slack-jawed technophile was more interested that his friend "Mike" was "totally going to drink a milkshake" or whatever other genius status update he'd found. There were also plenty of people watching the show through the screen of their iPhone or their cameras. So, these people had paid PLENTY to go see a live show, only to watch it through a screen of some sort. Ugh, people. Please, detach. Life is happening and you're missing it.
Speaking of, I'm going to detach now. Hope you're all well!
xo
It's really tough to think beyond this time, to be honest. I'm not scared of her becoming a sassy teenager. Right now, I'm focused on making sure she's healthy and strong enough to come out into the world. She looks very good--strong, active, and, dare I say it, cute. OK, she's actually a little skeletal-looking now, at least from the top view, but she's got one heck of a cute profile, and cute little hands and feet.
Anyway, blah blah blah, pregnancy. Let's not overdo it here. I have other things going on too. And while the Black Keys concert wasn't quite as miraculous as the creation of life within my body, it was a close second. The show was great--I've been listening to the Keys for a few years, but this is the first chance I've had to see them live. For only being made up of two guys, they made a lot of noise. Great noise.
There was one thing that bugged me at the show, though. A few rows ahead of me, there was some mouth-breather checking his Facebook. Now, I thought maybe he was going to post a picture of the show or something, but he didn't. He was just scrolling through his friends' profiles! There was an awesome band putting on a rocking show, and this slack-jawed technophile was more interested that his friend "Mike" was "totally going to drink a milkshake" or whatever other genius status update he'd found. There were also plenty of people watching the show through the screen of their iPhone or their cameras. So, these people had paid PLENTY to go see a live show, only to watch it through a screen of some sort. Ugh, people. Please, detach. Life is happening and you're missing it.
Speaking of, I'm going to detach now. Hope you're all well!
xo
Friday, July 1, 2011
Bell Pepper
On Monday, people started to notice that I'm showing. I had five separate people point it out or say I was glowing! All in one day! Up until then, no one had said anything. I guess it makes sense since the baby is almost the size of a bell pepper, but I feel like I've been popping out for about 2 weeks, so I was surprised at the amount of attention I got in one day.
People also feel pretty comfortable asking questions. I think my favorite question of all times is "Were you trying?" Now, call me old-fashioned, but I think it's bizarre that people feel OK asking me this question. Let's pretend we weren't trying. Then what? I see the options being limited to breaking down crying and saying, "Nooo, and I'm sooo scared!" or by responding "Nope, we just got drunk one night..."
On the other hand, it's weird to admit that, yup, we wanted to this to happen, so we did what is necessary to make it happen. Like....don't imagine that, people. That's not something you need to think about. Especially you, Trader Joe's employee. Or you, woman who works in the office next door. Or really, anyone.
Here's what I do like: Being told I'm glowing, being told how amazing it's going to be, and exclamations of "Ooooh, look at you!" and "You're starting to show!" All of that is OK. I also had a woman ask me if I had morning sickness, and when I said that I didn't anymore, she exclaimed, "BITCH!" and then started giggling and apologizing. I guess she had a lot of morning sickness with her babies. That, I didn't mind either. It was kind of delightful.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my uterus and my brain this week. Hope you're all doing well, too!
xo
People also feel pretty comfortable asking questions. I think my favorite question of all times is "Were you trying?" Now, call me old-fashioned, but I think it's bizarre that people feel OK asking me this question. Let's pretend we weren't trying. Then what? I see the options being limited to breaking down crying and saying, "Nooo, and I'm sooo scared!" or by responding "Nope, we just got drunk one night..."
On the other hand, it's weird to admit that, yup, we wanted to this to happen, so we did what is necessary to make it happen. Like....don't imagine that, people. That's not something you need to think about. Especially you, Trader Joe's employee. Or you, woman who works in the office next door. Or really, anyone.
Here's what I do like: Being told I'm glowing, being told how amazing it's going to be, and exclamations of "Ooooh, look at you!" and "You're starting to show!" All of that is OK. I also had a woman ask me if I had morning sickness, and when I said that I didn't anymore, she exclaimed, "BITCH!" and then started giggling and apologizing. I guess she had a lot of morning sickness with her babies. That, I didn't mind either. It was kind of delightful.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my uterus and my brain this week. Hope you're all doing well, too!
xo
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