Office Life

I've had the good fortune, up until now, to have been able to work in a field I really like. Most of my work and educational experience has involved a ton of hands-on work and patient care. Before I came to this office, I was working on an inpatient mental health unit. It was a fun, difficult, sometimes emotionally-demanding job, but it was the best job I could have ever imagined. There were many times when I would find myself doing something at work, or seeing something happening there, and it would make me feel so proud or happy or thankful to the universe for putting me there to be part of it. I left every day, even after double shifts, feeling thankful for the chance to have been there. It was the kind of job I'd still do if I won the lottery. I loved it.

For a bunch of reasons, I left that job to come here, to my little cubicle, which is filled with paperwork and things that need to be organized and flowcharts tacked to the walls.

*Side note: Flowcharts are the bane of my existence, except for this one: http://www.nytimes.com/images/blogs/laughlines/panflute-flowchart.jpg.*

About 2 days into my employment here, I had two thoughts. Thought One: Oh, my God...I'm trapped here. Thought Two: Why did they hire me for this kind of job?

It's difficult to explain what I do, but here's the boil-down: I cross-check a bunch of information with a log of information and make the necessary changes. Then I call people, often without result, in an attempt to offer to schedule therapy and other kinds of appointments. Yawn!

The thing is...I've started to shift my outlook on things as a result of working here. Little things really bug me--things I never expected to bother me, and probably shouldn't. Here is a Top Ten list of things that are bothersome in my office life:

10. They just told us we can't listen to the radio on our computers because it takes up too much bandwidth. The radio used to be the thing that kept me sane here. It's too quiet now!

9. The candy dish. My boss continually fills a little glass dish in our office with candy. No, it's not the temptation or anything that gets to me. I don't really have much of a sweet tooth, which is great because if I did, I'd have packed on about 20 pounds by now because it is always, always full. No, the thing that bugs me is my boss and the candy dish. She comes over and gets candy about 10-15 times a day, each time telling me how 'if the candy dish is far away from her desk, she at least has to get up to get some, which makes her eat less of it'. She also sings little songs about chocolate when she's over there. She's like a heroin addict, but her addiction is glucose.

8. The temperature. The office next door is affected by our thermostat, so there is a little, passive-aggressive war waged every time the heat is adjusted. Minutes after we turn up the heat, someone from the other office will slink over and make it look like they're using the fax machine. Then you hear that little 'hisss' noise of the thermostat being turned down. It is alternately hot, then freezing, then hot again, throughout the day. I don't know how to dress anymore.

7. The bathroom. I could write an entire book about the psychology of women in a shared bathroom, but I won't get into it too far. A few weeks ago, someone left a note that said, "I KNOW MOST OF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW CLEAN THIS BATHROOM IS BUT SOME PEOPLE DO SO WHY DON'T YOU RESPECT US AND CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES!" I love the all-capital lettered, poorly-punctuated sentiment.

6. My boss. My boss is oddly passive. As in, she'll send out an email to everyone that is not really directed at anyone, but is clearly aimed at one person in the office. She uses 'sandwiching', which is a Psych 101 classic. It's where you tell someone bad news, but cushion it on either side with good news. Like, "Hey, you're doing a great job here. We're going to have to let you go, though, because you really screwed the pooch on that report last week. Your hair has never looked better, though!"

5. The technology. I hate the copier and fax machine with most fibers of my being. Their beeping and malfunctioning may someday give me an ulcer.

4. Smokers. Why is it that this office rewards people for leaving their desk, going outside and standing there for 10 minutes every hour while polluting their bodies and my air? What if I took my cup of tea outside for 10 minutes on the hour, and then still took my lunch hour? Oh, that's not OK? Hmph.

3. My cubicle. It's like being in a small, cramped, messy shoebox full of post-it notes.

2. The fact that they're turning something as important and humane as mental health care into a money-making business, and I'm just sitting in my cubicle, along for the corporate ride.

1. It's not my other job.

With that said, I feel incredibly lucky to have a job. Maybe I shouldn't even post this....nah, I'm going to.

Hope you all are well!
xo