This Christmas season has been drastically different for me than others in the recent past. See, I used to be one of those people who loved Christmas and felt really Christmas-y for the 6 or so weeks preceding Christmas. When I was little, we'd always light candles on an Advent wreath, one candle for each of the weeks, and it was really special to mark the time and get excited. My family would get together and have little rituals--opening presents in order by age, reading the Christmas story, singing song, looking in our stockings and eating cookies and meatballs and the Russell Stover's candy assortment.
But something happened--I can't say exactly when--and all my warm feelings about Christmas went away. I think it was around the time I began to realize how much stress Christmas can induce. After all, until I was about 12, all I had to do was enjoy the holiday--to eat the meatballs and open my presents. Sometimes I was called upon to read the Christmas story aloud, but it was a small price to pay for the fun of the day.
One year, I noticed that I really didn't feel any differently on Christmas than I did on any other day. In fact, I felt kind of sad, as though I'd outgrown something really special and important to me. There was pressure to buy the 'perfect' presents for people, pressure to impress my family at our get-togethers, pressure to be appropriately grateful, pressures that I had never noticed before because I had been too busy enjoying the day. I tried everything, but I couldn't make myself feel that special Christmas feeling. This has sort of been the theme of Christmases since for me. It's nice to see my family, nice to get and give presents, nice to eat special things, but I've missed that unique, awesome, happy, Christmas feeling.
Well, this year, I think I have it again. I have been listening to non-stop Christmas music for over a week--I'm talking non-stop, 8 hours a day here--and I still love it. Every time that little tinkly piano starts at the beginning of that song from A Charlie Brown Christmas (you know... the 'Christmas tiiiime is heeeere' one), I get excited. The first few notes of any version of Jingle Bells makes me grin. I want to bake gingerbread cookies, drink warm, adult beverages, put up a tree, hang a wreath, and listen to Burl Ives ALL THE TIME. It's fantastic! We'll...it's fantastic for me. I'm pretty sure my co-workers want to kill me.
In any case, I hope your Christmas season is equally Christmas-y! Happy holidays!
xoxo
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