Holy Sheets

In about two weeks, Chris's lovely parents are coming to stay with us for a week. I'm really excited about it because it's been over a year since we've seen them (other than our weekly Skype dates), and because I am one of the lucky people in the world who has great in-laws. And no, I'm not just saying that because they read this blog. They're just nice people to be around and it's always great to see them.

In any case, Chris and I have been putting off setting up their room because that's also going to be the baby's room, and we've been sort of in denial that everything is happening so soon. But when we were reminded that they will be arriving in a little more than two weeks, we (OK, I) became suddenly energized (and a little panicked) and decided we cannot put this off any longer.

So we went to Target with the goal to buy sheets. We're both college-educated, mostly-sane adults, and at least Chris is fairly reasonable and calm under pressure. But something happened in that bedding aisle at Target. Something terrible. We were reduced to confused, sweaty toddlers by the number of choices, the expense of things, and the narrow cultural divide between us.

It went something like this:
Chris: Here are some mattress covers.
Me: Those are just to protect the mattress, not to make it more comfortable. See? It's crinkly plastic. Your parents can't sleep on that.
Chris: What would make it more comfortable?
Me: These ones! These ones right here! (pointing to large, foam mattress toppers)
Chris: Those are like $150! What about these ones over here?
Me: No! Those ones are just soft, but they don't have padding! They just keep the mattress from getting dirty.
Chris: But how can you tell how thick they are?!
Me: You just open the package and feel it!
Chris: But how do you know how thick it is? It could just be folded a million times, so it would feel really thick!
Me: I don't know. You just...just open the box more!
Chris: This is a nightmare.


And:
Me: OK, if we buy this down comforter we'll need to get a cover for it.
Chris: What? Why?
Me: Because that's what real adults in America do!
Chris: Fine. I found one cover here. It's for a Twin bed, though. And it's the only one they have.
Me: Here are some over here. They're $50!
Chris: Why is this so terrible?
Me: Because this bedding aisle is clearly our personal version of hell.


And:
Me: What about these t-shirt sheets?
Chris: My parents don't want to sleep on t-shirt sheets.
Me: Why not? They're so soft! These other ones are like 225 thread count and feel like crap.
Chris: Not everyone wants to sleep on a t-shirt like you do.
Me: Fine. Let's get the other ones.
(Long pause.)
Chris: ...well, actually, in the long term, the t-shirt ones might be better. These other ones will probably just get worse the more you use and wash them.
Me: AUUUUGHH!!! (followed by the sound of me overturning a decorative pillow display)

In the end, we went to Bed Bath and Beyond and got a great set of sheets and pillows and a nice feather bed without too much hassle. We hugged in the store when we found the sheet set.
And that was our weekend, in a nutshell.
Hope you're well!
xo