Jerk Store

I had my first encounter with a rude pregnancy commenter last night. Chris and I were buying concessions at the Vikings game, and a woman looked me up and down and said, "Wow, you must be almost ready to pop." I told her that, in fact, I had about 13 weeks left. She looked shocked. "Is this your first?" she asked incredulously. "Yup," I replied, praying for this conversation to be over. She continued. "Really?! Are you maybe having twins?" At this point, phrases that I can't type were swimming through my mind. Because I was born and raised in Minnesota, I didn't say any of them out loud (to her, at least). I just laughed and shook my head and said, "No, just one." She shook her head in amazement. I grabbed my bison burger, sans fries, mind you, and got the hell out of there.
Then, for the next 14 hours, I both privately and publicly stewed about it. I am like Seinfeld's George Costanza after being told, "Hey, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp!" The responses I could have said, should have said, have been piling up, and they're not nearly as polite as, "The jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"
I don't consider myself to be necessarily vain, but I don't enjoy being told that I look enormous. I also don't like the thought that maybe I look too pregnant, because that makes me think that maybe I'm doing something wrong, pregnancy-wise, and maybe my baby will be unhealthy because of it. I'm happy to gain this weight, happy to get round, happy to get stretch marks if that means I'll produce a nice, healthy baby. But the fact that what I eat, what I do, how big I get could mean trouble, well, that's something I'm sensitive about.
So, while I could have said something to the effect of "My doctor, who went to med school, says I'm measuring perfectly. Did you have to go to med school to get this job?" or "No, I'm not expecting twins. When are yours due?", I didn't. I also didn't spew off the string of profanities I believe this exchange deserved. Because I was raised in Minnesota, where we're taught to nod and smile while being insulted. And because there were children present.
xo